Notes to Self…

Have you ever tried to play tag with an older sibling or friend? If so, you may know the dreadful feeling of being “it”. You may even remember what it was like to chase them all over the yard to no avail. Then, as if you and I weren’t delusional enough already for choosing to play, we somehow convinced ourselves that this day would be different. We would catch them and finally fulfill our dream of being the chased and not the chaser. At first, it was all fun and games, until reality set in and we realized how farfetched this plan was to begin with. We would never catch them. Get close, they fake left. Employ the sneak attack, they leap right. Finally, when our heart felt like it might explode from the exertion, we slumped to the ground in frustration, considering to just call it quits again.

If your childhood was anything like mine, then you know this feeling all too well. Let’s just say I wasn’t as coordinated as I am now.

There is something to chasing that eventually becomes mundane and tiresome if you never catch what you’re pursuing. For me, this is what it was like to chase the idea of being a perfect person. I have always wrestled with two things simultaneously: how others perceive me and the way I perceive myself. I value words like drive, passion, and excellence. However, these words out of context can lead us in the wrong direction. The fear of not being enough for the people around me, the fear of failing to meet my own standards, crippled me on many occasions. The thought of being incomplete or at fault caused me to chase perfection for a long time. Making a mistake was devastating. Failing wasn’t an option. Still, the more I chased, the more I struggled to shake the sinking feeling that I was losing the game.

Perfection is a tricky thing. Some may even ask the question: “Why is it so bad to want to be perfect?” The only way I know to answer this question is with another question. Why do you have to be?

Indulge me for a moment as I attempt to propose a few more. What does it really mean to be perfect? How would being perfect change your life? Where does perfection end?

The desire for perfection is an innate human desire. For centuries, mankind has strived to be whole, flawless, right, and immortal – as immortality is often the final aim of perfection. Don’t misunderstand, these desires are not necessarily wrong. In fact, I believe they are built into our design, but we’ll get there in a minute. However, when we pursue these desires on their own, when we make them the focus of our lives, when we depend on them for security and validation, we are losing the game.

I believe the pursuit of perfection reveals a deeper problem festering within the recesses of our hearts: pride. We see this played out many times in the Bible. In Genesis, we start with Adam and Eve, where Eve was led to believe that she was lacking and therefore imperfect. Already made in the image and likeness of God, she believed that she could achieve wholeness, perfection, on her own through one simple action. Little did she know that at the moment she reached for the forbidden fruit, she had entered the game. Adam’s participation sealed the deal, now all of us born thereafter would be subjected to the chase.

Later in Genesis, we find mankind united with one aim: perfection. The Tower of Babel would have been one the greatest architectural feats of all time. With a thriving society and economy, what else was left but the final piece of perfection – immortality. They were convinced that together they could achieve God-likeness and rule themselves. Humanism at its infancy. However, those plans were thwarted as once again perfection alluded them too, and their tower plans were cut short by the One who was really in control.

While there are so many additional examples I could give, I’m going to try and land this plane. In both accounts, we see that pride led the people involved to believe that perfection was attainable on their own. Simply put, we will never achieve perfection without the One who is the source of all perfection, Jesus Christ. To pursue it on our own is like chasing that sibling and friend around the yard, aimless and impossible, mundane and tiresome.

The deception of this aimless pursuit is that we often trade true wholeness for empty copy-cats. The truth is, without Christ, mankind is broken, spotted, wrong, and mortal. We are prone to sin, fall, and fail. Paul in his letter to the Romans put it this way:

“For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin. For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. If then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it (the law) is good. For I know that in me (that is in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.” – Romans 7:14-19, 22-23 NKJV

Wow, Paul described the pursuit of perfection so well. Another way to look at pride in this context is self-reliance. When we rely on ourselves to become good, right, whole, and immortal, we are fighting a nature within our hearts that we cannot overcome on our own. We will fail over and over, and if we’re not careful, we’ll quit. I know there have been times in my life where I felt like giving up. I was on the brink of hopelessness, the belief that I would never change. In a way, I was right. I did not have the resources to become what I desired to be. None of us do.

So, you may be wondering if we are created to know perfection, but we cannot attain it on our own, how can we reach it? Paul knew the answer….

“O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God – through Jesus Christ our LORD! So then, with the mind I serve the law of God, but with my flesh the law of sin.” – Romans 7:24-25 NKJV

Paul knew that only through Christ could each of us be made perfect. When we set our minds and hearts on pursuing Him, we are made perfect. Because of Jesus’ death and resurrection, we have become good, whole, flawless, right, and immortal beings. While in this life we will contend with our sinful imperfect nature, get things wrong at times, and may even be tempted to fall back into the chase, through Christ, we have the assurance of perfection someday.

There were a few questions that needed to be answered….

Why do we have to be perfect? – Because God is perfect. Although it is not something we can achieve on our own, we desire it because we have been made like Him.

What does it really mean to be perfect? – It means that we are like Christ in goodness, wholeness, flawlessness, righteousness, and immortality. It means that though we might make a mistake, we are not our mistakes.

How will being perfect change your life? – If being truly perfect means to be like Christ, it will change my life because I will live like He did – selfless, unafraid, and obediently.

Where does perfection end? – Where it always began, in Jesus Christ and the promise of a life spent forever with Him, starting now.

You may remember what it was like the moment you decided to give up and lose the game. I know that I do. You and I may have sat down in the grass, chest heaving as we tried to suck in as much oxygen as possible. We knew at that moment, it was over. There was no way we were ever going to catch them now. They were faster, stronger, and more experienced. And just when we were on the brink of resigning ourselves to giving up completely, another sibling or friend ran up and said, “Tag me. I’ll be “it” now.”

Real perfection is a firm reliance not on ourselves, but on Christ. Let Him be “it” now.

Notes to Self: The pursuit of perfection is imperfect. The pursuit of Christ leads us to real life and the person we’ve always hoped to become.